& Then I woke up.

I am finally taking my time with this while she is beginning to sort out my weaknesses.

Knowing nothing of my past life is only playing to my advantage while digging to learn is causing my head to ache.

She has only time though… & to her I am the most exciting novel she has ever dug her nose into.

My life has only begun to play itself out, & with you by my side how could I go wrong?

Believe me when I say I only want whats best for you.

&

Once again depression has seemed to get the best of me.
“put my emotions down on paper” they say.
I try, I never walk away feeling relieved or content.
It’s as if only spreads! Like this ink within the small stitched parchment on this very page.

If my thoughts were somehow connected with my actions, I believe I would be a train wreck.
Not only guided by fear & my personal insecurities,
but also powered by the things I claim to hate.

I don’t even know myself anymore.
I would be perfectly content with never leaving the safeguard of my bedspread. For they are the only thing to shield me from the truth.

Believe in something!
Believe in him.
Believe in me… For once.

&

The bitter end of something beautiful began when reality struck me.

My very own insecurities have once again caused the downfall of this relationship.

I only pray that I will learn from my mistakes, & achieve whatever it is that I am searching for.

&